A year long journey

You were the start to my journey into myself and even into my poetry.
When we first met I was a mess you pulled me out of and you opened my eyes.
I saw a glimpse of the world of opportunities that I’ve forgotten about.
How could I miss?

I was a closed seashell ready to be cracked open.
Along came you to peal my outer coat revealing all the things I kept inside.
The true me came out and I met myself for the first time in daylight, without shame or fear, I accepted myself for who I truly was.

Counted days always end quickly.
With the coming summer I had to fly but this time I had an aim.
Things had to end but somehow it felt like a start into a new friendship, into the new world you introduced me to.
I was so excited I couldn’t wait to dive in and I did, maybe a bit too fast.
I made lots of mistakes but I also learned from the past.

When the sun started disappearing for longer each day I realized your spell on me had flown away.
Old habits die hard; I was again at the same spot trying to settle down for the same mistakes, crying for the wrong people for wrong reasons but this time there were oceans between us.
I couldn’t drive to you then back to me and I broke into pieces like a little girl’s lollipop that crashed to ground.

I am on a different boat this time but my trip schedule is the same.
To jump out and swim to the shore of an island I haven’t been before, all I need is another you by my side.
To break this closed seashell and to stop it from sinking to the bottom of the sea hell¹ where seashells love living in, all I need is another you by my side.
Remind me who I have been.

Beril
12/04/10

(1)Dan Deacon&Liam Lynch "Drinking out of cups". To watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skCV2L0c6K0

What friends are for

I told you yet again
My endless life story
And you listened with care
And with patience as usual
Then you asked me:
What are you scared of?
I answered: I’m so scared
That the truffles will be over
But I won’t be over him.
Then the door rang,
It was you with a package
And you asked:
Would you like more truffles?
I hugged you and you said:
That’s what friends are for.

Beril
10/03/10

Lost and Found

It was a moment ago
When there were no infinite possibilities
It was a moment later
When I realized infinity did exist
Two moments later
It seemed to be deceased
It was just a concept:
Limit taken of a function at it
Could never be reached

Living confined in a crate was hell
Escaping ostensibly a paradise
Lost, back to back to hell
Then I understood
It was a game of mentality
Just like the world which is round
The start was the end and the other way around
Experiences making us well-round
Lead back to back to back to hell and paradise
As if they both did coexist yet they were bifid.

A bowl of chips and a glass of coke
The smell of cigarettes
And some old stories untold
Back to back the haunting mood swings
Yet there is one who listens
Sharing the madness, making it sane
There is no reason to be arcane
As there is one who listens
Back to back to back with you
No matter, whatever you do
No matter, wherever you go
You know she’s true.

When eternity became a speculation
While the disbelief into religion has arisen
Whilst Hell and Heaven long forbidden
An evocation wakes you up, impossible to snooze
It whips you off, up high into the sky
You see the stars and don’t wonder why
“Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
Because now you know this is just another… sigh.

Beril
03/16/09