Yet another day

She was walking down the street
That she’d walked a thousand times,
It was just another day on the common grounds.
She looked up to see the way ahead of her.
Her eyes hit something new to this setting
But it was so familiar to her.
She was staring into his eyes.
He smiled with that smile of his
That had melted her heart the first round.
He was walking right towards her .
It was too late to turn her eyes away.
Not this time, no time for running away.
Then he greeted her sincerely,
She greeted back rather cold.
He said they needed to talk.
She agreed but still wondered;
Hasn’t she been clear about it all?
Was there anything left to exhume?

He talked, for hours and hours,
Explained his reasons, his feelings, his solutions.
He wouldn’t accept no for an answer.
She had to gave into him.
She had to because he knew how she felt
And that was the reason why he came.
She lowered her head, there was nothing left
But to accept her faith,
That she dreamt about every so often,
Now it was the time to eventuate
And then she said yes.

They met again later that day.
The sun was now gone
Yet she felt light in-her-side.
He held her hand,
Pulled her body to himself
Their lips finally met.
It was like a rainy day on heaven
So wet, so warm, so blissful.
She gave into him once again
And he finally dropped his guard,
He gave into her, over and again
Until they couldn’t keep their eyes open
As if they were carrying the heaviness of the eternal,
Their bodies met one more time in a spoon
When he finally called her name,
And she turned around,
Looking into her eyes, he said:
“I think I love you”
And he kissed her one last time.

A tear dropped to her face.
A single drop multiplied into ample.
The clouds got dark,
It started to rain outside
The black in the background came out,
The scene got fuzzy, the lights were out.
She felt misplaced, as if she had blacked out.

Almost as long as eternity, an unknown time later
She woke up, surprised, looked around.
She was alone, just her
And her reflection across the room.
There was no sign of him,
No piece of cloth, no scent, no sense
It made, no, not at all.
She rushed to the bathroom
Just to see there was no drop in the tub,
Nothing strange in trash, no single hair on ground.
She ran to the living room.
All was in place, just a dog sleeping on the couch.

She walked back to the room she woke up
When she realized this wasn’t the place.
No, she wasn’t here a moment ago,
No, it wasn’t the bed she made love in
She was in another city far, far away.
She looked around, couldn’t remember
When did she come back home?
A split second later, it hit her,
A sharp sting sank into her heart.

It was just another night of hers
That she had spent at his fictional house.
She went back to the bathroom
Brushed her teeth.
It was another day of hers
That she had woken into
Without love but just her
And the dog sleeping on the couch.

Beril
28/12/09

A tale

Can the loved see the love behind
the tyrannical language a lover has found?
Can the loved stop being haughty
when the love of a lover is perceived?
Can the loved love back a lover
even if the love is in dissent?

When will you see dear lover
that your words only stab you?
When will you divulge dear lover
that love’s mixed within your blood?
When will you comprehend dear lover
that you’ll die from thirst of love
if you refuse to sew your wound?

The lover in denial stabbing loveself
breaks into pieces like shuttered wine glass
The color red is breezing on cracked
Resembles shiny death coated with blood
in which was placed the lover’s wrecked heart .

Dear lover, dear loved one
It seems unlikely you’ll stumble upon
Your paths won’t merge, your feelings won’t blend
Your souls will continue alone, disgruntled
Until the lover is loved one day
and the loved learns to love some day.

Beril
27/12/09

I'm sorry, love

You have to face the facts
Make peace with the past
Create solutions for today
Still I’m not sure
No, you are not ready for the future.

It makes you miserable,
makes you shake
Your hands are out of place
You hear your heart
Or should I call it a drum?
Trying to catch your breath?
Don’t bother, it’s gone
You manage to run to the bathroom
Just before you faint and fall down.

Cool water cools you down a little
But then you face the face in the mirror
You’ve never seen it so scared
You’ve never seen it so desperate
You’ve never thought you’d see it again,
the reflection of your own past memories
That timid teenager returns home again,
Naive feelings fill up your head
You feel like fainting, oh, please, not again!

Now, the game is back on,
It’s time to play hide and seek
You want to hide forever
How hard you try,
it just won’t matter
as long as you know inside
that you still seek, still wonder
when or whether it’ll be over.

You’ve never felt this timeless,
this lost
While hiding yourself, seeking another
and avoiding your desire to be sought
You forget that it is you who needs to be found.

I feel sorry for you,
It made you so pitiful,
Love.

Beril
27/12/09

Transition

It is close by
your side and has been
with you all along,
in two thousand and nine.

It is close by
A small scalar change
a nine to a ten.
One step forward again.

It’ll be a big change
that you have to believe in
the solution to everything
when you can’t deal with present,
jump into your future,
A nine to a ten
Take a step forward, again.

It is a journey you take
no luggage for your sake
Just the naked truth per se
and you,
leave all behind
you worked for so hard
All is now two thousand and
when you step from nine to and ten.

Beril
24/12/09

Silent Path

My path is the cosine and sine
“Meeting and Passing”^{1 2}
Over and around
Maximum isn’t durable
Falling fast down
I hit the bottom,
Remember third law? ³
I upsurge again,
Bottom-up, Top-down
Over and around.

My thoughts were screaming so loud
I wasn’t able to purely listen
I was so full of myself,
So busy to do what I wanted
I was late to realize
I needed a stop, stop the affliction
Then, I hit the bottom heads-down
Silence hit back a second too hard
Its impact turned my mind golden
Game was over, but I was still around.

Observing feels like looking into the mirror
For days I scrutinized,
Watched my reflection fool around
For days I strived
Against to solve my conundrum.
Then, yet again I hit the bottom
Thanks to being conscious
This one was heads-up
Thanks to my conscious
I was now beware of tug o’war
I was now aware,
It was constant.

I’m now rising
Just to fall back once more
Oh, it is a tug o’war
Lasting forever,
Over and again.
Oh, it is cosine and sine
Taking every second,
Over and around.

Beril 12/21/09

[1]Robert Frost. “Meeting and Passing”.
[2]See Deneme 1.
[3]Isaac Newton's third law of laws of motion.