Wanted off beam

You saw the opening
I created for you in my heart.
You put your hand right through it
I felt your touch and was stunned.

It felt good, it felt right, it felt real
Until it was time to retract.
You were bad, you were harsh, you were mean
And the opening turned into a crack.

I’m letting myself healed
By friends and poetry.
I’m letting myself sealed
By fears and being busy.

I was off beam; it never was
Ever good or right or real.
It was solely my mind's eye
That saw you dressed for me.

I wanted you to love me more
Than I wanted to love you.
I wanted you to have me once more
Than I was ready for you.

Beril
11/03/10